Those of you who follow my blog would be aware of my furry friends – wild squirrels & rabbits. The squirrels are a fascinating watch. If you had driven past by my house in summer, you would have seen me and my godmother huddled at the glass door (sitting on a stool looking out onto the front patio) watching an assortment of wild squirrels enjoying their food. The squirrels frequented our patio in search of food and we were reliable hosts. They often had a spread of boiled corn for breakfast and nuts for dinner.
Squirrels are engaging objects of observation. Not only do they differ in color and shape, they also vary in their personalities. Some appear to have a calm nature, while others tend to be bullies. One time, we noticed that there was one squirrel who was extremely aggressive and would attack the others trying to feed. Her appearance was unique as she had a reptilian look about her. We started to dislike her bullying ways and would chase her away. One day, we discovered that she was a Mama squirrel. That discovery made us completely change the way we viewed her. Knowing that she was a mother made us wonder if her aggression was due to hunger as she had to eat for her own survival and that of her little babies. This melted away our icy attitude toward her. We thought of how tough it must have been for her to forage for food. Our aversion was replaced by compassion and genuine concern. Since then, we treat her like our VIP guest and have been generous with food when she is around. We lovingly call her MaMa in a tuneful way! Over time, she appears to have learned it as her name and responds to the melodious calling.
Mama squirrel opened my eyes to the importance of examining an anger-provoking situation from various angles. In the case of Mama squirrel, merely seeing another possible cause for her aggression allowed me to reframe her aggressiveness, i.e. from one of belligerence to one of survival for herself and her babies. Whether that was true or not is not the point. The point is that a fresh perspective helped me thaw my aversion toward her and bring about compassion and kindness toward her. This can be applied to common phenomena such as road rage. For instance, we tend to get upset when someone cuts into our driving lane and speeds away. However, if we are able to consider at least the possibility of that person being in an emergency and thereby need to rush, we are less likely to get angry. Therefore, I think it is worthwhile to consider other possibilities affecting a person’s behavior before we render that person the object of our anger.