What Mama Squirrel Taught Me

Those of you who follow my blog would be aware of my furry friends – wild squirrels & rabbits. The squirrels are a fascinating watch. If you had driven past by my house in summer, you would have seen me and my godmother huddled at the glass door (sitting on a stool looking out onto the front patio) watching an assortment of wild squirrels enjoying their food. The squirrels frequented our patio in search of food and we were reliable hosts. They often had a spread of boiled corn for breakfast and nuts for dinner. 

Squirrels are engaging objects of observation. Not only do they differ in color and shape, they also vary in their personalities. Some appear to have a calm nature, while others tend to be bullies. One time, we noticed that there was one squirrel who was extremely aggressive and would attack the others trying to feed. Her appearance was unique as she had a reptilian look about her. We started to dislike her bullying ways and would chase her away. One day, we discovered that she was a Mama squirrel. That discovery made us completely change the way we viewed her. Knowing that she was a mother made us wonder if her aggression was due to hunger as she had to eat for her own survival and that of her little babies. This melted away our icy attitude toward her. We thought of how tough it must have been for her to forage for food. Our aversion was replaced by compassion and genuine concern. Since then, we treat her like our VIP guest and have been generous with food when she is around. We lovingly call her MaMa in a tuneful way! Over time, she appears to have learned it as her name and responds to the melodious calling. 

Mama squirrel opened my eyes to the importance of examining an anger-provoking situation from various angles. In the case of Mama squirrel, merely seeing another possible cause for her aggression allowed me to reframe her aggressiveness, i.e. from one of belligerence to one of survival for herself and her babies. Whether that was true or not is not the point. The point is that a fresh perspective helped me thaw my aversion toward her and bring about compassion and kindness toward her. This can be applied to common phenomena such as road rage. For instance, we tend to get upset when someone cuts into our driving lane and speeds away. However, if we are able to consider at least the possibility of that person being in an emergency and thereby need to rush, we are less likely to get angry. Therefore, I think it is worthwhile to consider other possibilities affecting a person’s behavior before we render that person the object of our anger. 

The Furry dilemma

“You should not feed them. They will breed, multiply and become a public nuisance”, says one. Another says, “It affects the balance in the ecosystem. You should stop feeding them”. With sincerity and earnestness, another friend remarks, “You should never feed them! They are so naughty! They will scratch your door or window when you forget to feed them. They bring food up onto the rooftop and later, they will bite the roofing as it has the smell of food and thereby damage the roof”.  The above were some of responses I got when I told them that I have been feeding the wild rabbits and squirrels. 

At my new accomodation (I moved to a new place 5 months ago), I saw rabbits come out in the night to forage for food. So, I started putting food out on my front patio and this has become a routine. Then I noticed that squirrels would come in the mornings to finish off any remnants from the night before and this led to my feeding the squirrels as well. It is such a joy to see both rabbits and squirrels clean the plate every day and night. However, the disapproving remarks as above have lingered in my head and I have often wondered whether what I have been doing is the right thing. Am I helping or causing unintentional harm?

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The core argument against feeding these wild animals is that the nature has its own way of managing the ecosystem and my feeding them is interfering with the natural order of things. Providing easy sustenance to them may contribute toward overbreeding. It may affect their diet (as these rabbits appear to love rice more than carrots!) and ability to fend for themselves if I were not around to feed them (e.g. when I travel). For some animals or birds, migration or hibernation is the mechanism to cope with extreme weather. Would making easy feeding during winter in Minnesota, discourage them from migrating to other places or hibernating and thereby disrupt the natural course of events?

If the core premise for not feeding the animals rest simply on “not tilting the scale”, it would then raise the following questions. Should we not feed the homeless people or street dogs? Is it ok to close our eyes to people dying from starvation in other parts of the world? Is doing animal liberation wrong? Shouldn’t we intervene in the cruel treatment of animals such as dogs being skinned alive in certain country? Should animal shelters be demolished and caring for animals be abolished? Food for thought.

The Greatest Deception

While preparing for my class on the topic of emptiness, I came across this story. Whether it is true or fictional, it illustrates our dilemma in misapprehending reality. The story goes like this:

There was a farmer who had three sons. The two elder sons had moved out with their families, while the 3rd son remained in the family home. However, they were all equally involved in looking after their father. When the father reached old age, he divided his assets equally among his 3 sons. As soon as the sons got their share, their treatment toward their father changed and began to ignore him. The father’s old friend could not bear to see this and came up with a plan. 

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One day, this old friend appeared with a bulky chest that was secured with a huge lock and told the father in the presence of the youngest son, “Remember you asked me to keep this box and to return only when you have financial difficulty? Here, I am returning what you have entrusted me.” Saying this, he put the string with the key around the father’s neck. The very next day, the youngest son’s treatment of his father changed and was once again a faithful son. Upon seeing this change in their youngest brother, the other two sons got curious and heard about the chest. They too decided to stop their indifference toward their father for fear of losing out on whatever was in the chest. Eventually the father died. When the sons greedily opened the box, to their utter shock, it was filled merely with rocks. No gold nor silver. They felt betrayed and deceived. They invested their time and energy on account of this box but only found useless stones.  

The above story is analogous to our investment in the “I” that we perceive as autonomous and independent. To us, “I” appears as existing solidly from its own side, not one that is dependent on our aggregates and mental designation. We hold the way it appears to us as true and absolute. As a result, we inevitably develop strong attachment to this “I” or “Self”. This leads to developing attachment to those who are nice to this “I” and aversion to those who threaten it. This then invokes mental afflictions and corresponding behavior, causing us to create all kinds of negative karma. In reality, such an (inherent existing) “I” is non-existent. The “I” exists dependently, as a mental projection onto the base of the aggregates. It is merely a label imputed onto the aggregates. Like the sons deceived by the stone filled box, we too fall prey to this misconstrued “self”. Life after life, we invest so much in this “self” that has no independent existence and we now see what it has gotten us to. Since beginningless time, we have been trapped in this suffering-laden existence. Due to this mistaken view of a truly existent “I”, it is like the story’s chest of rocks that keeps us weighed down in samsara. The only way out of this is through acquiring the wisdom that sees that the reality of “self” is devoid of inherent existence; we need to see the emptiness of “I”. Only when we possess the weapon of the wisdom realizing emptiness, can we then destroy ignorance and the militia of afflictions like desire, anger, jealousy and the like. Don’t you think it is worthwhile investing time and effort to study and understand emptiness? 

WE ARE ALL INTERCONNECTED!

I have recently moved to a quiet neighborhood in the city of Maple Grove. It’s a good neighborhood with friendly neighbors. Since I don’t drive, easy access to public transport is crucial. At my old apartment, the bus stop and metro station were only five minutes away. It’s not the case in this new neighborhood. The nearest grocery store (Walmart) is a 25 minutes walk each way. Walking back with a backpack full of groceries is not difficult as I am used to doing that even at my old place. However, the challenge is finding everything I need at Walmart alone. Other stores like Costco and Wholefoods are not within walking distance and Uber rides can get costly. 

Imagine how overjoyed I was when I discovered that Maple Grove provides a service called My Ride – a shuttle service that, with prior booking, drives you to and from any location within Maple Grove boundaries. I was eager to test the service and booked my ride for a weekday. The service was impeccable! A minibus cruised into my lane on schedule and its friendly driver drove through the neighborhood picking up two other passengers on the way. A return journey to both Wholefoods and Costco cost only $4. I found that incredible!!!

What does a bus service have to do with Dharma? While on the bus, a deep appreciation and gratitude overcame me. The interdependent nature of things was abundantly clear – how interconnected we are. For this service to be possible, it requires participation of different people. Without a driver agreeing to take up this job, there would not be such service. Likewise, if there were no other passengers taking up this service, the city would not even consider such a service. As I sat on the bus, I felt a strong appreciation for both the driver and my co-riders. We often fail to recognize others’ role in our comfort and happiness. We take everything for granted. From the food we eat, the clothes we wear, our cars, to having homes to live in, they are all due to others’ effort and hard work. Sure, we may have paid for these things but even if we had sacks of cash, if there were no one to work to produce those things, where would we be? Even the money that we use to pay for things comes from others. We do not print our own money. It comes from another person. We may say, “I’m a self-made person. I worked hard for the money” but remember, work is also created by others and needs to be accepted by others in order to generate income. Hence, the adage, “No man is an island”. Similarly, the tagline in the Covid vaccine drive, “No one is protected until everyone is protected”. We are interconnected. Others’ actions and kindness are indispensable for our survival in this world. Think about it. 

Conviction in Karma is a Vaccine

COVID 19 pandemic hit the world and brought it to almost a standstill. The effect has been devastating. Worldwide, almost 3 million lost their lives, leaving behind countless grieving loved ones.  This viral terror has dominated the world and a vaccine has become the only refuge. As such, there has been a rush to be inoculated. We hear about people attempting to jump the line. The most hilarious was about two young ladies who disguised as old women and got their first jab but their deception was foiled when they went for their second dose. Like many others, I too tried to get an early vaccination. I browsed the internet, asked friends and even messaged fellow faith leaders to find a speedy way to get the vaccination. I recently got my first jab and I admit it was a relief. 

I was surprised at my own determination and effort in seeking the vaccine and hence, that warranted contemplation. I realized that two things drove this pursuit of inoculation. Firstly, it was the fear of contracting Covid-19 that could be fatal. The second was the conviction that the vaccine was the only way to protect me. Driven by these two forces, I was resolute in getting vaccinated. How wonderful if I were to develop a similar fear of the consequences of negative karma and the firm conviction that the only way to prevent adverse consequences is to stop committing negativities. 

We all have some understanding on how Karma works but for many of us, we don’t relate it to our lives and our activities. We lack the conviction. Our understanding remains only at the intellectual level. If we were to develop an unshakeable faith in karma and how it works, that would be the vaccine against unwholesome actions. We would be less reckless with our actions of body, speech and mind. We would seriously cultivate.  We are lazy about cultivating virtue. It is no surprise we end up in misery instead of happiness. 

I hope the anxiety posed by Covid and the relief accorded by the vaccine serves as a wake-up call for us, from this very moment, to cultivate more mindfulness and robustly apply our understanding of karma in our lives and choices. 

SAYING IT SIMPLY

Recently someone asked me, “If you had a megaphone, what would you say to the members of Khacholing center?”. This is what I would say:

First, you should know that my Lama friends say I am a plain-talker. I’m not skilled in flattery.   Neither am I fond of cliché. My plain words are these – I am very inspired by your interest in Dharma and the effort you put in. Week after week, you attend Dharma classes, whether it’s gloomy, rainy, cold, snowy or sunny. Since most of you are working people or have family obligations, I know how precious weekends are, with a gazillion things to do. However, you put them aside for those few hours and participate in Dharma classes. You have long had my admiration. You have put your mark on the term “precious dharma”. I salute you and thank you.

Attending Dharma classes without practical application is nothing to shout about. The whole purpose is to integrate dharma into one’s life. From our interactions, I believe you are trying your best. You have gained a taste of the dharma and are committed to utilizing it. Although we say family life and the workplace provide the best opportunities to practice dharma, it is easier said than done! Situations can shake your Dharma understanding and faith to the core.  It can be very challenging but I know you are trying your best. Because of your effort, I too feel inspired to do more in my own practice. 

When practicing dharma, progress can be merely incremental and painfully slow. Since we live in an instant culture, we may get discouraged and ask, “What is the point?”. Such doubt happens even to long term retreaters. There is a story of a retreater who lived in the forest outside Dharamasala. Despite years of meditating, he felt that he had achieved no substantial progress. So, he approached His Holiness the Dalai Lama and expressed his frustration. His Holiness gave him two pieces of advices: 

  • On your way back, enjoy the street of Mcleod Ganj (the tiny yet busiest street in Dharamsala with shops and stalls on both sides of the road) and examine what people are doing;
  • Once home, read the Perseverance chapter from Shantideva’s text “Bodhicaryavatara”. 

The retreater was puzzled but he followed the advice. When he walked down that street and observed closely, he realized that people were mostly occupied with this life’s endeavors. Thinking about how he had been meditating for years in the forest (with the good motivation of subduing the mind and thereby be of benefit to others), he felt a sense of accomplishment and relief that he had not wasted his time. As you already know, from the Dharma point of view, if one is concerned primarily in the interest of this life, it is a waste because this life will surely end and one has done little to prepare for the future life. 

That left His Holiness’ second advice – to read the Perseverance chapter. He thought, “I might have lacked in many things but not in perseverance. Why did His Holiness advised me to read that chapter?” Upon doing so, he realized that perseverance is not merely about putting in effort. It is about joyous effort – finding delight in carrying out virtuous activity. Such joyous effort is dependent on seeing the benefits or meaning in what one is doing. He thought about how his efforts at doing meditation retreat was to tame his mind and benefit others, and not just about this short life’s comforts. That realization changed his perspective. 

Meeting challenges whilst one is on the dharma path is inevitable. When faced with difficulty, we can contemplate on the benefits of dharma practice. This way, joyous effort will arise. This is the best form of resilience.  We have undergone so much hardship simply to achieve some temporary, this-life benefits. Striving in dharma practices provides both short and long-term benefits in this life and future ones. Isn’t that massively more worthwhile? I wish you all the best in your spiritual journey. Buddha blessings to all. 

New YEAR’S GREETINGS

Happy 2021! Wishing you all a very Happy New Year! 

New Year is celebrated all over the world with much pomp and splendor. The countdown at Time Square in New York is a big deal and I heard that people gather there from the morning to wait to witness the lighted ball to drop from the top of a building. Fireworks is a favored extravagance in the name of new year celebrations and in some cases, serve as a kind of competition between communities and countries. Today I would like to give you a look into how new year is celebrated in monastery I am from. 

Back in monastery, we celebrate the Tibetan new year called Losar (Lo-year Sar-new). There is no reunion dinner on new year’s eve nor are there fireworks at midnight. New Year’s Eve means a lot of preparatory work. Offerings need to be set up beautifully on the altar and this includes the “CheMar”, a mixture of tsampa (roasted barley flour), sugar and butter, nicely piled in a shape of a pyramid in a traditional wooden rectangular box container. “DherKha”, a pile of huge Tibetan snack (which looks like a donkey’s ear called BongBui Amchok) is another special offering at Losar. Arranging these offerings is not an easy task. It requires creativity, concerted effort and perseverance. 

New Year’s day at the monastery means an early start. A bell is rung at 3.30am to call the monks for prayer session at the respective khangtsens (monastic residences) and the session lasts until 5:30am. Monks begin by making prostrations and khata (traditional white scarf) to the holy images at the altar. The main prayer is that of Palden Lhamo protector puja, followed by another short prayer session at the monastery’s main prayer hall. It is tradition to greet everyone at new year’s with “Tashi Delek”. However, the funny thing is that it has become a kind of a shouting game. People simply shout “Tashi Delek” into the air, without addressing it to anyone in particular. One would then hear a response from another direction. The yelling starts around 3am and this continues throughout the morning! 

The first day of the Losar is known as Lama Losar and it’s the day to pay respect to one’s teachers (Lamas). At Loselling Monastery, there is the tradition of monks visiting all the Rinpoches in the monastery, some out of respect and others for some fun. For hours, an endless stream of monks with khata in their hands will swarm into the residences of Rinpoches. Some young monks would have visited over 30 houses over the course of the morning and would have collected over 30 toffees, as a tray of toffees is usually offered at each residence. All that time, the shouting Tashi Delek continues unceasingly and if there were physical forms to these yelling, it would have filled up the sky. As the time approaches 10am, the number of monks visiting lamas will dwindle. Soon the lunch gong will be struck, signaling the conclusion of the formal Losar celebration.

You can see from this that new year’s day at the monastery begins with prayers that include requesting Dharma protectors to help remove obstacles to Dharma endeavours and help create conducive conditions for meaningful practices. Of course, such requests should arise from the understanding of the importance of dharma practice and one’s determination to engage in it diligently in the coming year. In that sense, it is akin to a new year’s resolution. I personally believe that the new year period is a time for reflection on the past year, recognize personal actions that have not been helpful and resolve to do better. Hence, I feel a new year’s resolution can be helpful. Research in psychology suggests goals are beneficial to one’s personal development and that goal should be something specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and a time bound (SMART). Applied to Dharma practice, a SMART goal could be for instance, resolving to prostrate 3 times daily for a certain number of months or for the whole year or spending 5 minutes each day on meditation for 6 months. These are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-specific. I encourage you all to adopt such a resolution, a SMART goal for the coming new year and together we will examine its impact on your life at the end of 2021! 

Wishing you all a great year ahead that is filled with happiness and success in all your conventional and spiritual endeavors. 

Season’s Greetings & Quiz

Tashi Delek!

Hope you are safe and well. 

I have finally finished doing the summary on the actual bodhisattva vows (18 major transgressions and 46 secondary misdeeds) and it is now available on Khacholing website (khacholing.org).

Since we are on winter break, it is a good time for a short quiz, a self-assessment on the bodhisattva vows. If your time permits, I would be very pleased to receive your answers via email (lobsyeshi007@gmail.com). Some questions have factual answers, others require your own opinion. **There will be prizes for the best presented answers! (Winners will receive them after the Covid restrictions are lifted). 

Wishing you all happy holidays and best wishes for the new year.

Sincerely,

Drupa Rinpoche

1.    What is the difference between a major transgression and secondary misdeed?

2.     Which are the two major transgressions that do not require the presence of the

four binding factors and why?

3.    Which of the four binding factor is the most significant and why?

4.     What remedies can we adopt if we commit a major transgression; and a

secondary misdeed?

5.     How would you relate your taking the bodhisattva vows and abiding by them

to your daily life? How do you think they impact your present life and future

lives? 

6.     Among the 46 secondary misdeeds, which one do you personally find most

important to abide  by and why? 

Happiness is a state of mind

Tashi Delek!

I am happy that the new Khacholing website enables me to pen down my thoughts to share with you. If you are reading this, it suggests you are on a spiritual quest. As with all journeys, we start with “Why this quest? What are we aiming for?” Whatever label we give to this driving force, fundamentally we seek happiness and freedom from misery. Even the tiniest insects share this aspiration.

Many people think that by changing external conditions like changing jobs, partners, where they live, even hairstyles, will bring happiness closer. This is a myth for two reasons: Firstly, it’s not possible to fix all of our external conditions. Secondly, even if we could, is the happiness derived going to last? Haven’t we gotten bored with the things we had excitedly bought? Haven’t we seen enough unhappy millionaires or suicidal celebrities? I’ve seen monks in the monastery where I spent many years studying, who happily went about their lives without a penny in their pockets. There were times where I did not have a single Rupee in my wallet but I don’t recall ever feeling unhappily disadvantaged. How so?

From the Buddhist perspective, happiness is a state of mind. Happiness comes from within and the mind is our inner resource that helps us to achieve this. Mind is something we can shape through cultivation. A beggar who is grateful for one meal is happier than a billionaire who craves for more. It is all about our attitude. Notice and appreciate what we have and immediately, life becomes happier. This is the basic premise. Understanding that mind determines all our experiences breaks our obsession over fixing external conditions. It’s like planting chili seeds and expecting strawberries to sprout. No matter how diligently we provide external conditions for growth, chili seeds will never bear strawberries. Chilli seeds are simply the wrong cause for strawberries. Likewise, happiness comes from working on our mind and for that reason, the essence of Buddhadharma is about transforming our mind; getting rid of seeds that bring misery and planting those that produce durable happiness for ourselves and others. With this as a foundation, the Dharma journey can begin. The ride can be bumpy as it requires a deep and honest look at ourselves too, so I suggest we buckle up! Until we next meet, I leave you with two images to contemplate upon.

COngratulations to Gankar Tulku Rinpoche

To His Eminence Gankar Rinpoche, the lamp of the Dharma and sublime spiritual guide,

With salutations and great joy we have learned that Your Eminence has been appointed by His Holiness the Dalai Lama as Gyuto Monastery’s LamaUmzey (Assistant Abbot). All the center members and Rinpoche’s students wish to extend our sincere congratulations. Upon ascending the great throne of Gyuto LamaUmzey, may Rinpoche follow the footsteps of the prior throne holders and like the rising moon, may rinpoche’s holy activities of preserving dharma and benefiting sentient beings rise and grow without limit. May we the students remain in Rinpoche’s kind care and be blessed with the shower of dharma teachings.

With prostrations,

Khacholing Center